Regulate.

One of the most important tools we can share with others, especially the young ones in our lives, is the ability to self-regulate. What does this mean? Well, it does NOT mean reaching externally to soothe an uncomfortable emotion or situation. It may start with food, treats, toys, etc (if we are lucky, we are introduced to yoga, meditation, tapping, nature)..then as we grow and more options are available, are you confident your young one will be able to discern which is truly a healthy tool to use? Often times, we see or hear a baby crying, a friend or relative is upset, or someone is bringing up a painful memory and we immediately enforce the suffering or distract them without taking a moment to breathe and regulate our own reaction to them first. It is a useful tool to match the other's emotional state to empathize with them, and then to bring our state to one of neutrality. After all, we are not the one's experiencing it and that gives us the advantage of being the observer. The observer can see the whole picture, the other ways of looking at it, and offer these insights calmly.

When we are calm, we are in tune. We are able to see and RESPOND to what they are asking for. Yes, it may be uncomfortable to hear crying or whining, this is the only way some can communicate for now. Communicating is a skill, one that can benefit from as much practice as possible. As infants, we are so sensitive to our surroundings, especially the people around us, that we can be easily shifted. Nerves, tension, anger, sadness, all of these can upset such a sensitive being regardless of their age, though newbeings (and those who are less aware of how much they take on people's energy) are much less protected from what they are allowing to affect them. Often, we unconsciously agree to something we are told or feel or see because we are in a total state of trust.

Be aware that you are modeling how to move through life. How do you communicate with yourself? Lovingly and compassionately or judgmentally and harsh? How do you communicate your feelings to others? Can you stay in the state of "I" and refrain from projecting onto or blaming others? How do you move from sadness to gratitude, or anger to relief? Can you do this without using something external? Can you stop, take a breath, acknowledge the discomfort, locate where it is in your body or mind, discover the truth of the situation, and presence yourself so much that all you know is now?

Where are you? Who are you with? What are all of the joys and pleasures in your life right now? This brings you back to you, to your heart. It beats for you. Your breath, your body is here for you. Step out of the story and into the truth of now. Once you are here, now, with you, you are calm. You are being. You are ready to hold space for whoever is around you to come back to their own selves as well. You are regulated in your self, by your self<3