stay together for the kids

if you have a husband or a wife (or co-babymaker) right now living with you and you have a child, children, or one on the way..i feel there is opportunity for support and help and willingness to be there for and with one another.. i have seen many couples who take on a lot of stress and shut down rather than communicate to their partner how they would best be supported in a situation. talking about it in the moment is the best, although uncomfortable at first, it gets easier and solved way quicker than talking about it later (sometimes cooling off, regrouping, and tuning into what is really coming up for you is helpful). everything that is comfortable now was once uncomfortable. it is safe now to express yourself, to share the "load of life", to love more, and trust more, and allow the "other" in more. accept and be grateful that you have a partner to assist you in lifting whatever story is playing in your life right now. if you want it different, you are even more powerful because you have an ally. you have someone, a soul partner, to cocreate with and vision/manifest something new together. get clear, speak intentionally, envision the family life you would like best, the relationships you would like to cultivate, how you want to express yourself, how it feels for you to be; what do those look like? how you are in these relationships, how does it feel to be yourself and be completely loved and taken care of? see the home you are in, the couch you cuddle on, the bedroom you recharge in, the space you have to be creative/logical/scary/physical in, your child's imagination land, your backyard, neighbors... how you feel with your partner, how relaxed and supported you feel, how financially abundant and secure life feels..how much you love your work, if you work..details, focus.
perhaps you are soulmates, not soulpartners. we learn and grow immensely with soulmates. this is different than soulpartners because the soul isn't interested in getting along or compromising, so most often they are not romantic. we can see how it could get complicated and challenging when to move on or away from someone who forces our souls to grow also raises our kundalini. we can see this played out in the "on and off" relationships.
soulpartners balance us and ground us in all bodies- emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually; we feel recharged and supported in expressing our fullest truths with these partners. this is not to say it is "perfect", no one seems ready for that..we desire the most compatible. in the "we are soulmates, not soulpartners and oh wow yes! we have a special little one" case, speaking as a child of the "let's stick it out 'til the kids are 18 and out of the house, let's stay together for the kids", living with unhappy/resentful/depressed (i pray you won't, it's very possible you'll get there) parents together in the same house is WAY LESS DESIRABLE than separated parents in different houses who are relaxed, happy, and free (hopefully to attract both of your soulpartners!). especially for a sensitive being- who are you really trying to fool? children are very perceptive and empathic; i felt the rage and hatred bubbling underneath, saw the devil-eyes darting at one another, heard the fights and cries and experienced the separation within the unit. i personalized a lot of what was going on because i didn't understand how to process the pain.
now, if this person is not someone you enjoy anymore (and hopefully still love/like them, and/or forgive the experience..meaning literally fore-give, give it all up, all the grief and blame and shame and wish i coulda_/wish they woulda_), perhaps you were meant to come together to procreate, not cocreate a daily life together; it was something you agreed (consciously or not) to together: to bring a new life into this world (and i believe these children are choosing very special, spiritually nurturing parents to support them in their mission, so, lucky you!), maybe living together and dealing with each other day in and out wasn't necessarily part of the agreement. There is the option to still live together and, crazy idea- live your lives as caring roommates and guides for your children (yes, allow your true soulpartners in!). if you choose to live in separate spaces, i strongly encourage building strong community and allowing others to come and help/care for the child (and you!). have trusting, loving, different people to help out when you have an appointment, some alone time, errands, a nap, anything. the more support and family you create, the more time and love you have. it is perfectly healthy and acceptable to separate amicably and arrange something that is comfortable for both parents, and remember to build a community around you- one with your best interest at heart and in action, and with people who are also choosing to live life in their joyfully individual own way. ask guidance for ways to have a nanny/babysitter- perhaps a live-in/trade situation. so, rather than sticking it out as the "traditional parent of the 90's", it may feel much better to be cocreators in the realm of how to best raise your child, the universe's child, and support them in helping us raise our consciousness to even higher. they chose you because they knew you would be able to foster their leadership, to support and teach them how to win humbly, easily, and gracefully. you are the perfect person to guide them in finding and strengthening their own inner guidance and purpose; this is how children are best supported. there are many now (articles)who agree the new generations have strong missions here to bring the pure remembrance of love and truth, to be peaceful warriors for change.

love yourself enough to acknowledge you desire a change, and be inspired enough to move in a direction, any direction. we can flow, get unstuck. we won't feel like we have to stay in places anymore because we have to "make it work" or we don't deserve to go until __ happens (which can get nasty when some experience shows up that creates a major hurt in the relationship and things break in a traumatic or dramatic way), we have to do this, we have to do that.. we don't haveto do anything, unless you tell yourself you have to. you have more willpower than you may know, you are doing many things right now that you are telling yourself you have to do (and probably at least two things that you don't want to do, yet you (or someone) say you have to, so you do it.. once we are aware of these things, we begin to observe and spectate and create the possibility of something better..something we do want to do..